Yes it’s been that time of year where you’re allowed one night of cheesy music. Yes we do refer to the Eurovision Song Contest that came live from the Crystal Hall in Baku, Azerbaijan. The 26 finalists (21 of which had to go through semi-final events first to secure their places in the finals out of the remaining 27 eligible countries. The United Kingdom, Germany, France, Spain and Italy automatically get entry due to the amount of money put into the EBU.) took the stage in what ended up being longer than the 3 hours viewers were advised (thank God for munchies!)
So of course, as has been for a few years now, the winning song has been performed at the start of the show. Which is actually a good thing because we struggled to remember what the 2011 winning song was (apparently it was called Running Scared…we still don’t remember it…). So after going through the usual welcoming info and explaination on how the voting worked, we we into the show. Here follows our views on each of the tracks as they were performed (country/song title / artist)…..
United Kingdom: Love Will Set You Free // Engelbert Humperdinck
To be fair, the UK don’t get a say these days in who goes to represent us and people reactions varied to sending the 75 year old crooner. Maybe they thought sending someone like him would secure the votes…It didn’t. To be honest, to open the contest, you should be opening with bright party tune that we know Eurovision produces. No, we had a ballad that sadly left us feeling like we wanted to slit our wrists too. Did appear to fail to hit a note too and that wouldn’t go without notice.
Hungary: Sound of Our Hearts // Compact Disco
Let’s not drag this out, didn’t have us enthralled
Albania: Suus // Rona Nishliu
Sounded like something possessed (or as Graham Norton, the BBC commentator said, once she had her medicine there wouldn’t be another performance like that). Did think at one point her head and shoulders had been supposed on another body.
Bosnia & Herzegovina: Korake Ti Znam // Maya Sar
It was looking good while she sat on at the piano, even if she did look a little like Lady Gaga. But once she rose from the piano, it just lost the momentum.
Russia: Party For Everybody // Buranovskiye Babushki (Buranovo Grannies)
Everybody seemed to be talking about the grannies from Buranovo in Russia. The honest truth was that they were showing that age is not a barrier in this competition. You know that someone somewhere is going to put a dance to this and that it's going to be a summer hit like the Macreena...Their goal was to be able to rebuilt a church in their town that had been pulled down by Stallin...Someone start a fund and getting paying in, they deserve it!
Iceland: Never Forget // Greta Salóme & Jónsi
Personally, we could hear a bit of celtic influence to it though, their song Never Forgot sounded like it belonged in a show or a film soundtrack. Then Greta playing the violin with a smile that we swear was being remotely controlled…she smiled like a barbie doll!
Cyprus: La La Love // Ivi Adamou
La La Love had all the elements of a great Eurovision europop tracks with a great beat to dance to and a chorus that you were soon singing along to. Rated as one of our favourites.
France: Echo (You And I) // Anggun
So we've found the French Male Gymnastics team...they were with Anggun in Echo (You And I). The opening lulled us into thinking we were getting a mid-tempo track before they sped it up. To be honest, we paying more attention to the gymnasts...
Italy: L’Amore E’ Femmina (Out Of Love) // Nina Zilli
No disrepect, but it seemed that Amy winehouse had been returned in Nina Zilli with her track L'Amore E' Femmina (Out Of Love). Al she needed was a beehive bonnet...
Estonia: Kuula // Ott Lepland
Kuula (or Listen (thank you karaoke on the red button on BBC)) was a beautiful ballad performed by Ott Lepland. Enough said!
Norway: Stay // Tooji
Initially we'd be forgiven for thinking he looked a bit like Basshunter...except BH is Swedish and we know that he was *apparently* in Kilmarnock & Dunfermilne on Saturday. Another little great dance tune that Euovision has been known for.
Azerbaijan: When the Music Dies // Sabina Babayeva
The host countries entry was a slow ballad almost like an Alicia Keys number.
Romania: Zaleilah // Mandinga
It had to get the Scottish vote....It had pipes, it had an accordian, it had the lot of them doing simple dance moves. And it was a catchy song, we don't care if we understand the language or not lol.
Denmark: Should’ve Known Better // Soluna Samay
Appearing to have raided Chery Cole's wardrobe for her Fight For This Love video outfit, Soluna Samay's track was an alright pop track (but sorry Denmark, The Oslen Brother's track Fly On The Wings Of Love is still our favourite!)
Greece: Aphrodisiac // Eleftheria Eleftheriou
A country told not to win the Eurovision due the costs of hosting the show, which was probably why it looked and sounded like their singer Eleftheria Eleftheriou was miming. Sad, Aphrodisiac had Eurovision hit written all over it...
Sweden: Euphoria // Loreen
It's been no.1 in a few countries turns out that it's been available on iTunes for a while (opps!) Still, it was just Loreen and a dance routine that for most of it was just her. There is something that we don't mind hearing about this...might look more into this for a later review....
Turkey: Love Me Back // Can Bonomo
At our party two of us couldn't help thinking this track belonged in a panto and how, even though we didn't like the original singer here, how another performer could make this sound good....
Spain: Quédate Conmigo (Stay With Me) // Pastora Soler
We felt sorry for Pastora Soler (or the Spanish Celine Dion as was nicknamed at our party) as apparently they too were instructed not to win because of costs to host the event. Still, it was a great song with a great performer who could sing.
Germany: Standing Still // Roman Lob
Caused some hilarity at our party with him singing the chorus lyrics I'm standing still/I'm standing still/As you leave me now walking around the stage...emmm…
Malta: This Is The Night // Kurt Calleja
Okay, we were supporting Malta we admit. Our party have all been to Malta on various occasions,and normally they do produce a decent entry. And this year it was no different...maybe they could take Tonight's The Night over there and have this as their opening song....
F.R.Y Macadonia: Crno I Belo // Kaliopi
Norton commented that the singer Kaliopi had dropped her surname Grill for her career and that it had been a good thing as it made her sound like a restaurant. Song was good but then they brought it europop elements that ruined her voice.
Ireland: Waterline // Jedward
There was two issue with them to start with. One, we've found some missing Starlight Express outfits and two, they obviously forgot to put their fingers in the electric sockets to get their trademark hair. Again, it felt like the backing singers were doing more than the boys. They can't sing & dance at the same time…when will they learn?
Serbia: Nije Ljubav Stvar // Zeljko Joksimovic
A beautiful simple produced song that didn't rely on big instruments but kept it to a tried and tested method of building it to a climax for the finale (though their entry that won a few years ago, Prayer is still a favourite)
Ukraine: Be My Guest // Gaitana
Another dancy, electronic tune that we thought really should have been the opening to the show as a 'welcome'. Probably need a bit of work in some sections. Otherwise, an alright tune.
Moldova: Lautar // Pasha Parfeny
Sounding like it could have been pulled from The Artist soundtrack, it had a good beat for feet tapping, finger clicking and hand clapping. Although we do wonder if his trumpet is a euphemism for something else...great song to end the show
So there was the 15 minutes for the televoting (shame that the UK can’t vote by text…would be much easier!) which forms 50% of the country vote, the other 50% being decided by a panel of judges from each country. We still have no idea who it was who was performing during the counting stage. Anyway, it was onto the results. Now no matter how the EBU have tried to making the voting fairer, politics still play a part in the voting. You can tell with neighbours still voting for neighbours. As the night went on it seemed to be going between Sweden and Russia. (and some surprises along the way). In the end though, it was Sweden that came out on top with their track Euphoria. And the UK? Second to bottom…Maybe the public should decide who goes to Eurovision once again. Then they can’t blame anyone… So it off to Sweden next year (unsure whether we headed for the capital or somewhere else)
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